Transcript
Bea
Why can’t you do your work while you are at work?
Tim
There isn’t enough time. I have to go to meetings.
Bea
Do you think it will make things easier if I came and slept at the office?
Tim
Why don’t you come and sleep at the meetings, everybody else does?
Clerk
Timothy James Browne-Smith, you are charged with chairing without due thought and preparation. How do you plead?
Tim
I think I’m supposed to be in a meeting.
Judge
But this is a dream.
Tim
Sorry I’m late, I’ve been in a bloody planning meeting, went on and on as usual.
Daisy
Ah what are we talking about this morning?
Tim
We’d better talk about that first. I’ll do an agenda. Item one the agenda. I always think it useful to get together like this, you know just to see if..
Ian
Is there any point in having got together?
Tim
What?
Judge
I think you better tell us what the charge is?
Tim
Well I haven’t given it that much thought quite honestly m’lud. You know things have been a little hectic down the station this week. I thought we could work something out when we all get together.
Judge
Second charge. Failure to signal your intention to the meeting.
Tim
Can you take item one now?
Ron
I am taking item one now. Improving company communications.
Jackie
No, no, no, no Ron, it’s telephone communications.
Ron
What.
Jackie
Look every time we try and get through down there they’re engaged.
Ron
What?
Tim
No it isn’t.
Ron
What?
Tim
What extra maintenance will they need? What are the extra costs?
Ian
Well I can’t tell you off the top of my head.
Tim
Look the point of putting this on the ..
JD
It’s a fake, the painting is a fake.
Judge
Did he sell it?
Tim
Definitely not m’lud.
Judge
Third charge, negligent ordering of agenda and criminal misallocation of time.
Tim
I want to take this order if we can. It’s McKenna, so if we can do this one they’ll come back.
Ian
I think we are making mistake.
Tim
Look I’m sorry it’s ten to now right.
Marcus
But if we hadn’t have wasted forty-five minutes discussing the bloody parking.
Tim
But that was urgent. The park opens on Monday.
Judge
Forth charge, not being in full control of your discussion.
Ron
My problem is that people are still being sick on Fridays and Mondays.
Ian
What your lads need Ron is a bit of discipline.
Daisy
It depends on what you mean by discipline.
Marcus
I can tell you what I mean by discipline is nailing a few of them the front gate.
Daisy
Oh shut up Marcus.
Tim
I’ve got a hunch we did him about five years ago for forgery or it could have been arson, but he thinks it was taller…
P.C.
It was forgery.
Tim
No, never.
Judge
Didn’t anyone write down what the judge said?
Tim
Well we all thought we knew what had been decided.
Tim
Next item, to discuss and decide what exactly it was that we did discuss and decide at the last meeting.















