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Lindy
Inspector Nugget?

Inspector Nugget
Of the yard yes.

Inspector Nugget
A body was has been pulled out of the lake.

Inspector Nugget
I intend to prove that behaviour is the missing weapon.

Mr Pilbury
I remember Miss Hapless.

Miss Hapless
Alright then come in.

Mr Tanner
Cost nothing to be friendly and it helps people be friendly to you.

Mr Figgis
Load of rubbish.

Inspector Nugget
Your behaviour is not something you’re born with you know.

Mr Figgis
Some people are impossible to begin with .

Ms Welt
They’re not your size.

Miss Hapless
How do you know?

Ms Welt
I put them there.

Mr Figgis
I’m off.

Mr Manners
A cream bun Mr Figgis?

Mr Figgis
Well you’ve got to let them know who’s boss haven’t you?

Miss Hapless
I wouldn’t buy a stamp from this post office even if it’s the last one on earth.

Inspector Nugget
Would anyone like to list his mistakes?

Ms Welt / Sister Cartilage
Yes please.

Mr Tanner
All that stuff about being cheery with other people that’s second nature to me.

Mr Tanner
That’s enquiries that you want.

Miss Hapless
And where would that be?

Mr Tanner
We’ll they’ll tell you that when you get there.

Mr Manners
Shall I call the police now sir?

Inspector Nugget
I am the police.

Inspector Nugget
And where do you think you’re going Mr Manners?

Mr Manners
Business perhaps?

Miss Hapless
Business as in please mind your own.

Mr Manners
I do beg your pardon madam.

Miss Hapless
It’s yak, yak, yak, yak, yak, yak. I’ve had yak, yak, yak, yak up to here. Go on say it, say it, say it, say it!

Mr Manners
Why don’t you go jump in the lake Miss Hapless.

Mr Manners
You’ll not be able to prove anything Mr Nugget. You haven’t got any witnesses.

Inspector Nugget
Oh but I have.