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Sales mentor
Welcome, I’m your portable sales mentor. I’m with you where ever you go.

Saleswoman
Everywhere?

Salesman
You’re interested in purchasing animal feed.

Customer
No.

Salesman
Definitely not?

Customer
Definitely not!

Sales mentor
That was terrible.

Salesman
Yes.

Sales mentor
You should ask open questions.

Salesman
What are open questions?

Customer
How long would we have to keep the cars?

Salesman
Typically three years.

Customer
Three years!

Sales mentor
She took control of the meeting didn’t she?

Customer
It’s just not worth it.

Sales woman
You’re looking for basic best sellers. Bodice rippers.

Customer
I wasn’t going to say that at all.

Saleswoman
But I know him so well, I was sure I knew what he was going to say.

Customer
I can imagine you can predict what I’m going to say next?

Saleswoman
An average player could serve rockets with these.

Customer
Not on a rowing machine you couldn’t.

Saleswoman
Goodbye?

Customer
Well done.

Customer
Have you listened to a word I’ve said.

Salesman
It’s got a six-cylinder graphite-free amalgam PRX lubricated MBT engine, optional infra-red rear-suspension buffers.

Sales mentor
Tell him why he needs this model.

Salesman
I did!

Salesman
Plus a rear washer wiper. All in all sir..

Sales mentor
No you didn’t.

Salesman
The perfect car for you.

Salesman
Have I got a coffin for you sir. The panelling is fire, damp and rot proof.

Salesman
That’s stupid.

Salesman
Shall I put you down for three?

Sales mentor
And you’ll be stupid if you try to sell from your point of view.

Customer
But I was planning a cremation.

Salesman
It’s tungsten reinforced with non-slip base.

Customer
I’m interesting in buying a system. Quite a large system.

Saleswoman
Do me a favour shove off!

Customer
My card.

Saleswoman
Are you really?

Customer
Afraid so.

Saleswoman
It was a one in a million chance.

Salesman
I suppose there is just a possibility that one day she’ll realise that she needs training too.